The Power of Play: How Dads Help Kids Thrive

Learn how playtime goes beyond fun and why dads are crucial in helping their kids thrive through play, building strong bonds, resilience, and lifelong skills.

The Power of Play: How Dads Help Kids Thrive

The Importance of Play

Humans aren’t the only animals that play - all young mammals do, as well as some birds, reptiles, and even amphibians. From birth, mammals are instinctively driven to play. But until recently, scientists didn’t fully understand why.

That began to change in the late 1990s, thanks to neuroscientist Dr. Jaak Panksepp. Setting out to uncover the emotional “tools” essential for survival across mammals, he identified seven core emotional systems: seeking, fear, rage, lust, care, panic/grief, and incredibly - play

Exploring the significance of play, Dr. Panksepp1 and his team conducted a rather unusual experiment: tickling rats. This somewhat amusing research led to a ground-breaking discovery - an ancient “play circuit” buried in the brain’s most primitive regions. This research shed new light on why play holds such a vital role in the lives of mammals.

Play, it turns out, is highly rewarding, sparking joy and even becoming addictive, particularly in young mammals (no wonder our little ones keep coming back for more!). However, play burns a lot of energy and, at times, can even be risky. So why, despite the costs, do we - and so many other animals - keep doing it? What makes play so irresistible?

How Play Helps Children Build Lifelong Skills

All mammals explore their world through play. It helps them become more skilled at moving their bodies, understanding the world and - for humans - even imagining another one. Play also helps us develop vital social skills and the give-and-take of everyday social interactions, helping us navigate relationships and spot when their playmates are feeling happy, sad or frustrated. Through play, we literally rewire our brains, building essential skills we’ll use throughout our lives, such as physical agility, social confidence, emotional regulation, creativity, and resilience.

When researching playfulness in rats, Dr. Panksepp and his team found that the rats who thrived the most were the ones who engaged most in play. The same is true for humans. In fact, Dr. Panksepp’s research showed a strong link between social behaviour and play: the more social an animal, the more it plays. As one of the most social animals on Earth, our little ones need plenty of play to thrive and develop the skills they'll carry through life.

Why Are Dads Such Important Playmates?

In her insightful book, ‘The Life of Dad’, Anna Machin - doctor of evolutionary anthropology - explains that mums and dads’ brains are wired a bit differently. To put it simply, dad is wired for play, while mum are wired for hugs:

“Dad and baby get peaks in neurobiological reward from playing together while mum and baby get their hit from nurturing. Hence kids have a tendency to seek dad out to play and run to mum for that reassuring hug.”

Vincent_van_Gogh_-_First_Steps__after_Millet.jpgPhysical play - like tickling, chasing, and play-fighting - are particularly good at flooding both dad and little one with joyful bonding neurochemicals. Because of the way dads brains respond to their children2, dads also tend to be particularly good at helping their children build resilience. Encouraging those first wobbly steps doesn’t just teach a new skill; it challenges your child to take risks, handle failure, and try again. Over time, this kind of challenging play helps your little one develop trusted relationships and learn how to navigate life's knocks and setbacks.

Building a Strong Bond Through Play

If you're a new dad, becoming a playmate starts with bonding gently with your baby. At first, these moments will be soft and nurturing, but as your little one grows, and you spend more time together, your interactions will naturally become more playful.

This playful connection isn’t just fun - it’s one of the best ways for dads to build profound, lasting bonds with their child, strengthening your relationship in the most meaningful way. Learn more about connecting with your baby and discover some helpful tips here.