Irritability and Anger: Many dads may express emotional distress through irritability, frustration, or outbursts of anger. They may feel overwhelmed by their new responsibilities or feel disconnected from their partner or baby.

Withdrawal: Some dads might begin to pull away from family, friends, or even their partner. This could look like spending excessive time at work, isolating themselves at home, or losing interest in hobbies they previously enjoyed. 

Increased Substance Use: Alcohol or drug use can sometimes become a coping mechanism for dealing with stress or emotional pain. An increase in drinking or substance use could be a red flag that a father is struggling with his mental health.

Feelings of Inadequacy or Failure: Fathers often feel immense pressure to be strong providers and protectors for their family. They may silently battle with feelings of inadequacy if they don’t believe they’re living up to those expectations, leading to low self-esteem and increased stress.

Physical Symptoms: Mental health issues often manifest physically. Sleep disturbances, fatigue, changes in appetite, or physical pain (such as headaches or digestive issues) could be warning signs that a dad is dealing with anxiety or depression.

Low Mood or Apathy: Feeling down, sad, or numb can affect many new fathers, particularly if they feel disconnected from their baby or partner. This might be exacerbated by a lack of sleep, financial worries, or the pressures of balancing work and home life.

Overworking or Excessive Productivity: A dad’s response to feeling overwhelmed may sometimes involve diving deeper into work. This overworking can be a way to avoid confronting feelings of stress or anxiety, and it can ultimately lead to burnout.

Create a Father-Inclusive Environment: From the moment a dad walks into a healthcare setting, it should be clear that he is equally as important as his partner. This can be done by addressing both parents during appointments, ensuring literature is available that’s relevant to fathers, and encouraging open dialogue about their experiences.

Ask Direct Questions: Fathers often won’t volunteer information about their mental health unless they’re asked directly. Health professionals can make a big difference by gently but explicitly asking fathers how they’re coping with the transition into parenthood, whether they’re feeling overwhelmed, and how their relationship with their partner is going. Normalising these conversations can break down the barriers that prevent men from opening up.

Empathy over Judgment: Approach fathers with empathy and understanding. Avoid making assumptions or minimising their feelings. Statements like “It’s normal to feel overwhelmed” or “Many dads experience this” can go a long way in reducing feelings of isolation and guilt.

Recognise the Importance of Peer Support: Sometimes, dads feel more comfortable opening up to other fathers who’ve been through similar experiences. Encourage dads to seek out fatherhood groups or peer support networks where they can share their stories and learn from others.

Pick the Right Time and Place: Ensure the environment is calm, comfortable, and private. Choose a time when there’s minimal distraction or stress, and when he’s more likely to be open to talking.

Start Gently: Jumping straight into a deep conversation about mental health can feel overwhelming. Begin by asking how he’s feeling generally, and if he’s noticed any changes in his mood or energy levels.

Be Patient and Non-Judgmental: Don’t push too hard or expect him to open up immediately. Let him know you’re there to listen, and that his feelings are valid. Sometimes, just offering a space where he can express his concerns is enough to help him feel supported.

Use Open-Ended Questions: Instead of yes/no questions, try asking open-ended questions that allow him to expand on how he’s feeling. For example, “What’s been the biggest challenge for you since becoming a dad?” or “How has this experience been different from what you expected?”

Encourage Professional Support: If he’s struggling to cope, gently encourage him to seek professional support. Reassure him that talking to a mental health professional isn’t a sign of weakness, but a way to take care of himself and his family. Provide information on where he can access help, such as through his GP, local support groups, or online resources.

Refer to Mental Health Services: Fathers experiencing significant distress should be referred to a mental health professional. Whether through counselling, therapy, or medication, there are effective treatments available that can help.

Encourage Participation in Peer Support Groups: Fathers often benefit from talking to other dads in similar situations. Look for father-focused groups in your local community or online, where dads can share their experiences and receive mutual support.

Connect with Family Services: Many local family services, such as Family Hubs, offer father-specific resources or events. These can provide a space for dads to engage in parenting support and build a sense of community.