Ok. Now let me get this right. Monday is music lesson for..........then Beavers. Tuesday is swimming for two, which two?......then music for one straight after.............and Wednesday is swimming for one, then Cubs for two straight after..............and all homework has to be done by Thursday ...and you are home late from work 3 days this week, did you say........and then there is Church House Group to be organised for Thursday.....and I would like to escape to the Gym at some point.....and the garage needs clearing out ....and I have a meeting at school about..........is that on Tuesday or Wednesday?
.................and the washing machine has broken down and we need to return those two films to LoveFilm as we have had them a fortnight and not watched them.................and have we any school socks for the boys,.... you know, the right ones for the right boys dear?! And have I taken the dog to the vet? Which day am I to do that? Oh, and Uncle Tom Cobbly and all are calling at the weekend.
Familiar? It is easy to pass like ships in the night as parents. How important it is to create even a small window of opportunity each day to sit down with your spouse for a catch-up. Not merely a functional diary session as you would at work and then hasten on to the next task.....like sorting the lunches for the next day or your nightly hour on facebook or twitter!
Good talking and listening creates intimacy and keeps us connected with each other beyond the functionality of parenting, which can unfortunately spill over into our relationship with our spouse and it them becomes functional leading to emotional drift.
Here are 3 non-diary-type questions which might help over a 15 minute cup of coffee before you get back to the necessary responsibilities, like sorting the lunches and the 1 hour on faceb.....
1. Tell me one thing that happened in your life to-day that you really enjoyed?
2. Now, tell me something that was really hard?
3. If you could re-live today, what would you do differently?